Melanie, ca.2005. Photo by June Mita
Our brother, Craig was 9 and he also liked taking care of little Melanie, at least for a little while. Then he began to make himself scarce, choosing to be with friends over Melanie. So it went for most of her childhood. We being the older brother and sister were always trying to lose her to be free of any responsibility, and she was always trying to tag along with whatever we were doing at the time.
I don't remember too many funny stories about Melanie's childhood. I am sure there were plenty of funny things that happened to her, but they aren't something I took much notice of, so I will try to tell a few of the things I remember. These stories are mostly for Melanie's children, Marc, Amy, Ryan and Sarah. They may already know them, but for the sake of history, I will repeat them. Melanie was daddy's little girl when she was small. She said when he died in 2013 that the worse day for her was when she couldn't crawl up beside him and lay on the couch because she was too big.
Funny Photos - Long Gone ca. 1967
My grandfather, Ralph Harlow, had a strange sense of humor. He smoked these smelly, kind of bumpy dark cigars that were thin. They may have even been a cigarette. When Melanie was around 2 1/2, he decided to let her have a taste. He gave her the cigar, told her to pretend she was sucking a straw, then blow out. Well, we had a picture of her blowing smoke out of her mouth, holding the cigar in her two hands while it was still in her mouth. Her cheeks were puffed out and she was surrounded by a fog of smoke. The picture is long gone, but I remember it because we looked at it so often and laughed.
I remember another photo of her. She was around 14 months. She had on only a sagging diaper with rubber panties. She had on a red knit stocking hat of Craigs, one of dad's ties wrapped around her neck and practically touching the floor and a pair of dad's slippers on her feet. Her head was turned away from the camera as she walked past. We always got a kick out of that one, too. She always did like to play dress-up using mom's heels or dad's big shoes. He was a size 11. She was so tiny, though, that I was surprised she could even move her legs to walk. That was another photo that didn't survive all our moves.
Surviving on Peanut Butter and Bread ca. 1968
Melanie was a terribly finicky eater She hated most foods. She would drink milk, eat bread, have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and eat cereal, because we always ate cereals like Lucky Charms, Captain Crunch or Count Chocula. I think she ate pastas as well, like macaroni and cheese, beefaroni and ChefBoyArDee ravioli. Mom used to buy Tree Tavern frozen pizza and she also got a make
your own pizza called Appian Way. Melanie would eat those later on but not until she was around 7. Mel, ca. 1970 Photo by June Mita
Many suppers, Melanie would drop broccoli or spinach under the table and of course the dog would eat it. She never really seemed to get in trouble for not eating. I guess by the time she came along, mom and dad were not as anxious about kids getting enough food. They had already been through it with Craig and I. Of course, all that lack of interest in food caused Melanie to be so skinny it made me angry. Craig and I were solid, big kids. We ate everything it seemed. But not Melanie. She was a light weight through most of her childhood.Cute Didn't Work This Time ca. 1969
Naoma Harlow, ca. 1952
Melanie was used to getting away with stuff. One time, though, she did a very wicked thing. She was perhaps 3, maybe 4, and my mom must have wanted her to do something. It made Melanie really mad at her, so she took mom's most favorite photo and put a mustache on it and scribbled a little. Melanie saw how mad mom was and ran under my white iron bed in the furthest corner she could. Mom went diving under, but couldn't reach her so Melanie just looked at her, put her two index fingers in front of her face and said to mom, while shaking her head, "No,No, No, No." Mom started laughing so hard and Melanie began to smile and said "Your laughing. You won't spank me." So she came out and mom grabbed her and spanked her really good. From that point on, Melanie realized even if mom and dad laughed or smiled, if she was going to get spanked, she would.Years later, Melanie made good her angry pen by bringing the picture to a restorer, who was able to redo the picture to its original beauty. When mom got it for her birthday around 1992, she cried because it was the best photo she had ever had taken of her.
Industrious Melanie ca. 1971
Mel was always industrious. She didn't have any girls her age nearby, so she had to find ways to keep herself busy. My dad had a roofing business and brought a lot of envelopes, paper, pens and pencils home. Behind the bookcase was a large area that was supposed to be the stairs to the basement. Dad had put a floor in when we rented the upstairs to a family named Champ. He never removed it when we moved back upstairs so he used it for a mini office.
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| I still have the table. Here it is, 55 years years later. Photo by June Mita |
Mom had extra ledgers and receipt pads as well, which Melanie made out for pretend customers. We always knew where to look for her when we needed her. She was usually behind the bookcase.
Blankie ca. 1966
Melanie had a blanket she carried around with her for many years. Mom couldn't ever wash it without Melanie going into hysterics over that blanket. I am never certain it ever got washed unless mom did it while Mel was asleep. That was very difficult because Mel would have her hand so tight on that blanket, if you tried to undo her hand she would wake up. Yep, she always had her thumb in her mouth and her blanket held up to her cheek. Dad called her Linus, from the Peanuts comic strip. She used to pull the fuzz off the blanket too and put it up to her nose, so it was pretty threadbare by the time she went to school.
Mom had a heck of a time separating Melanie from that blanket when she had to go to school. There was lots of temper tantrums from Melanie when she couldn't find her blankie. I don't know when she stopped carrying around the darn thing, but it was pretty soon after she started going to school.
The Bicycle Incident ca. 1975
Melanie had a lesson taught to her one day when she was about 10. She had a nice speed bike that let her get to her friends houses very far away. One time she went about 2 miles to visit her friend. As industrious as she was with schoolwork and business forms, she was rather careless when it came to taking care of her things.
She left the bike on the side of the road where her friend lived, and the two went walking somewhere. For some reason, dad needed to find her so he went to the friends as well. Melanie was not about anywhere, but he did see the bike parked right on the street, so he took it. He hid it in one of our sheds, and waited for Mel to stroll home.
Melanie came home and didn't say a word. She watched t.v., played with the cats, and dived into a book. Dad watched her carefully, but Mel never gave any indication anything was wrong.
Finally near supper he looked aat her and said "So, Mel, are you missing something?" She looked back and with a complete stone face said no. He said "Are you sure?" She shook her head yes, she was sure. In his way he said "Come here, I want to show you something." He took her to the shed and said "Open it." Well, there inside was her bike.
She was grounded for a week because of the lie and dad said "If I ever see that bike on the side of the road again, you won't get it back." She took great care of her bike after that.
1973 - Of Weather, Horses, and Chicken Shows
School Photo ca. 1973
Bucky was very good at jumping fences so he would often jump over his yard fence and run down the street to the Ludwig's farm. They had lots of fields, and Bucky had a taste for fresh grass. Because he was so nimble and stubborn, he wasn't always the best riding horse.
It was early April and mom was walking next to Bucky while Melanie tried using rein commands. Well, I believe a car came down the road and spooked Bucky because of the unsure rider Melanie was. He reared up a little and Melanie fell off. She hit her head so bad it started bleeding.
Mom picked Mel up and carried her home while leading Bucky. Mel was incoherent all the way home. Mom was afraid that the fall had smashed Mel's brain somehow.
I remember dad putting Mel on my bed and making the room dark. He took a flashlight and flicked it on and off in Mel's eyes. The pupils were responding to the sudden flashes of light but because she made no sense, he said they had to get Mel to the hospital.
They had to keep her awake all night. She had suffered a concussion and was in the hospital for a few days. I thought she was going to die and cried all night the first night. She missed Craig's birthday on Apr. 8, but when she came home we had cake for 2 occasions, her coming home and Craig's belated birthday.
Not two weeks later, we were in York, PA. for the biggest chicken show on the east coast. Melanie was still feeling the affects of the concussion when mom had a car accident going into the parking lot of the motel. Thankfully our Chrysler Newport cushioned any force of the blow, and none of us were phased at all by the car that crashed into us. Follow the link for the whole story on this incident.
On December 16, we were under one of the worse storms damage wise for Connecticut. It was a mix of rain, ice and snow.
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| Glistening ice from the December 17, 1973 ice storm in Connecticut. This photo was taken from the cemetary off North Eagleville Road at UConn. Photo submitted by Wayne Norman Shpow listener Dave Doiron of Mansfield. |
We lost power for the first time around 6:30 p.m. Melanie was in her element. We could not go anywhere and we all had to stay in the living room where we had a fire going in the fireplace. Since there was no t.v., no lights and no in and out of the refrigerator, we took to playing board games by candle light. It was the happiest childhood memory Melanie had.
With me at 16 and Craig at 17, and Mel only 8, we did not spend any time with her. She was just a kid. We were teenagers and were constantly with our friends. During that storm, though, she had our undivided attention. That was all she wanted occasionally, just us spending even a few minutes with her, which we hardly ever did.
The storm knocked our power out but we happened to have a CL&P worker who lived in the neighborhood. Mr Darling lived on Newell Hill Rd, and restored our neighborhood for about 13 hours. Then it went out again for about 9 hours and he came back to restore it for all of us. There were many shivering out the storm for days, but Mr. Darling, who was a darling, made sure we were all okay.
Sibling Antics And Jealousies - Barbizon Girl
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| Family portrait, ca. 1969. Photo by William C. Sundgren, Jr. |
Melanie always screamed she had to go to the bathroom, so we would let her go. Well, it was her way of getting away. Once, though, she had cried wolf too many times so Craig wouldn't let her go, and she really did pee inside the blanket. Craig stopped harassing her at that point, but we probably did long term damage to not only her pride, but her bladder.
Melanie was a girl scout, just like I was. She
collected many more badges than I ever did. She was rewarded by my mom and dad by being able to attend girl scout camp every year for 2 weeks. I never got to go, and I used to get so mad that she could have all that fun while I had to sweat through humid, hot days with no relief from lakes like she had. Of course, when I finally discovered what they actually did, between bugs, wild animals and hiking, I was glad that I didn't have to go after all.
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| Barbizon Girl, ca. 1979 Photo by Richard Sundgren |
I am not certain Melanie ever appreciated that kind of attention. She had no aspirations to be a model. It may have been our mom's way of getting her out of her introverted shell to socialize more and have fun. Melanie had always been more academic and serious, unlike her very flighty, rebellious , artistically bent older sister.
I was terribly jealous of all the perks Melanie got growing up, but she was always envious of my abilities with poetry, music composition, sewing, drawing, photography and painting. She was also sad because she didn't have any sibling close in age like Craig and I. We were 14 months apart and could always use the other for a playmate when our friends were away.
Auction Block ca. 1978
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| Very Last Christmas, 1977 at 28 Ludwig Rd. Photo by Naoma Sundgren |
Melanie was 12 at the time. I sat with her for many hours between November and March as she cried about losing the only home she had ever known. Nothing could be done. Michael and I couldn't pay the large tax bill, which was over $10,000. Neither could we bid on the house. We had no money to help. I think the selling bid was around $28,000 for an oversize ranch with two complete houses (upstairs and downstairs), 4.5 acres, and a corral and several outbuildings that had housed our large chicken population.
They moved to Hoffman Rd., down in the valley in Ellington and rented half of a duplex. It wasn't a bad place really. Mel quickly got used to it and even liked it more than Ludwig Rd.
Then she had to live through the mounting arguments between our parents until they finally split up. Mom worked hard to pay the rent and they stayed there until around 1984.
School Days
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| Melanie in EHS marching band, ca. 1983. Photo by June Mita |
One memory that I have was when Mel was in 1st or 2nd. grade at Crystal Lake School. I was very sentimental at 15. The class was doing a Christmas concert and the class sang "It's A Small World" so sweetly it made me cry. Melanie had this other worldly look on her face, one of rapture and uplift as she sang. Normally I hate that song, but when she sang it with her class, for that one moment I wished they could continue singing forever.
In her adult life she also learned to play the piano only because she wanted to be able to play the piece from A Charlie Brown Christmas. She learned it. Whatever she set her mind to to learn, she did.
If Melanie got into any funny scrapes, I don't know any. She was always very controlled and stayed out of trouble. She was brainy and was 4th in her graduating high school class of 1984. She won a Pell grant for her grades as well as a few scholarships. She went into the ROTC Air Force at UConn to study engineering. Because of her accident with Bucky, the Air Force wouldn't let her stay in the program. A traumatic brain injury or concussions are considered placing the pilot and plane at risk, so after a year she had to leave the program. She studied Economics instead.
